Zombie Boy
by lexie-king
Summary: Wars don't end when a side "wins". There are no winners, just survivors. The Battle of Hogwarts destroyed Draco Malfoy. Can Astoria Greengrass save the troubled young man?
1. Chapter 1

Wars don't end when a side "wins". There are no winners, just survivors. The Battle of Hogwarts destroyed Draco Malfoy. Can Astoria Greengrass save the troubled young man?

Another head hangs lowly Child is slowly taken And the violence causes silence Who are we mistaking But you see it's not me It's not my family In your head in your head They are fighting -  
June 1999:  
After the war, Draco Malfoy died. Not physically of course, but the proud arrogance that the boy was once known and loathed for was gone. Draco couldn't even go near the drawing room without hearing the screams or that evil snake crunching human bones as if they were but bacon. He was mental, he knew it.  
He just stopped caring. He was tired of fighting, tired of hiding how he felt and tired of waking up on the rare days he could sleep. Waking up was the worse part due to the fact he would have to face his guilt for all of the losses.  
Crabbe. He watched his friend since childhood be swallowed whole by the flames he created.

\- Severus. -

Severus.

He felt the tears that he refused to release. He never told him how much he loved him, it was never a romantic love. Severus was Draco's other mentor next to Lucius. Until that blasted sixth year. He began to loathe Severus with everything he had. He did nothing that Severus advised. Sixth year was the beginning of the most mentally exhausting two years that Draco had to cope with. Severus died before Draco could apologize. He now had to live with that for the rest of his life.  
Narcissa Malfoy watched her son's mental health disintegrate. He internalized everything and it took its toll on him. She heard his agonizing cries at night, and held him when he trembled uncontrollably. She watched him shrivel into nothingness and she couldn't do anything. She wanted nothing more than to cradle him and not let him go but she had to accept the fact her baby had grown into a very damaged young man.

The Malfoy Family had been given a break because Narcissa kept Potter alive. Lucius left the country to return to France, Draco hated it but he blamed Lucius, for the state he was in, so he avoided his father. Narcissa refused to go and stayed in England with particular morning, Draco decided he had to get out of the house, he wanted to try to talk to talk to someone. After kissing his mother on her cheek, he apperated to Diagon Ally.

He found the store he was looking for. Ollivander's.

Taking a deep breath, Draco walked in. He didn't need a wand, as to why he was there, he wasn't sure. The frail old man was sitting in a chair.  
"Hello, Draco."

Draco took a deep breath and he stood at there trying to say something. He heard his voice finally speak. "I-I needed to try to apologize." God, he was stumbling over his words like a child.  
"For what?" The man looked at Draco.  
"You were held hostage in my home, I just stood there while they-"

Ollivander stood up and looked at the haggered Draco, the boy looked like sleep was not being his friend, "How is your wand working?"  
Draco's heart sunk. He can't know! "I haven't really used it in a while. I'm not sure." When in fact, Draco had been having problems casting the simplest spell.

"Hmm. Give it a try and let me know. As for your apology I cannot accept it, because then that has to imply you were somewhat responsible. You weren't. The horrible thing about war, Draco, is that people are forced to grow up before their time. You were as much a victim of circumstance as I.

Now my dear boy, I am old and tire a lot quicker than most. And Draco? You should forgive yourself. You are more of a prisoner to your mind right now."

Draco muttered his thanks.

As he left he stalked into the Leaky Cauldron. He craved a drink. Sitting at the bar, Draco just asked for a bottle of their strongest drink.  
Tom looked at Draco and grabbed a rather old, dusty bottle of Firewhiskey and said, "Ten galleons. This stuff is very potent so pace yourself." Draco paid Tom and went to the back of the pub were there weren't many people. The first swallow of the liquor had burned. But he immediately felt better.

About an hour later, Hermione Granger walked in with Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood. They were having a girl's day out. 2 years after the war ended, no one was healed but life started to move on.

Hermione spotted Draco, and she continued to watch her lonely colleague throughout the morning, get as trashed as humanly possible. He'd forgotten the glass and just started chugging from the bottle. She felt concerned, though she wasn't sure why.

Hermione didn't want to draw attention to him, so she walked over to the bar and asked Tom "How long has Malfoy been here?"

Tom looked over to the corner, and Draco now had his head on the table. "He's been here for about an hour. The only thing I gave him was a old bottle of Firewhiskey. He seemed like he needed it. I'll have to get ahold of his mother."

"I'll take him home."

"Are you sure?"

Hermione nodded, swallowing at the thought of returning to that manor.  
Hermione returned to Ginny and Luna, "I know you're going to call me crazy."  
Ginny sighed, "What's up?"  
Hermione explained the situation, and Ginny sighed, "You're coming back right?" "If it doesn't take too long, I'm coming back."  
Hermione went over to Draco's table he was knocked out, the large bottle of firewhiskey was maybe a few shot glasses full from the bottom "Malfoy?"  
He stirred and looked at her, his eyes were bloodshot, and he reeked. "Are you okay?"  
He shook his head.  
"I wanna forget, can you help me?"  
Hermione felt sick for a second.  
"What do you mean forget? The war?" She asked gently.

"I need, need to get out of my head apparently. It's not a very good place to be." "Okay, Mal-Draco. I told Tom I'd take you home, are you still at the mansion?"  
"Yeah, it's in Wiltshire. You... You know I can still hear your scream after all this time? I still see my aunt cutting you. It's suck in my head and Burbage, she was eaten in my table she was the second person I watched die, I didn't help her and I didn't help Dumbledore...Oh my god, I'm so sorry." He put his face in his hands.  
Hermione took a deep breath and sat next to him. "Have you talked to a healer about this? I mean it could help. What about your friends?"  
"Firewhiskey's the best. I can finally quiet them down with it." "Who are 'them'? Draco?"  
"They're everything, all the screaming, all the blood, everything." "Okay come on."  
He stumbled getting out of the chair. Hermione grabbed his arm.  
"What in the hell has happened to you?" It slipped out before she stop it. He hadn't insulted her, he was a alien.  
She felt her heart clench when Draco had a few tears streak down his face.  
"I just want the war to be over. It's not getting better, none of it's changing, everything's still so fucking loud and I can't sleep, I just want to sleep." He said loudly.  
The looks that the two had gotten from other onlookers would curl a cow's stomache. "Hermione?" She turned to the voice.  
"Why aren't you at work?"  
Astoria Greengrass smiled, "I'm off. Wait a minute, Draco?" She was two years younger than him, and from what she remembered he was always good looking, he was nice when she would speak to him and he even helped her with one of Snape's essays when no one else would take the time.  
Looking at him now being drunker than all hell, was kind of tragic. He was always so put together until her fourth year, that was his sixth year, she watched him begin to fall apart. He was quieter, he looked sick all the time, and he just looked depressed but she could still see the fire in eyes. Now there was no flame, there was no determination and all that she could see was the pure emptiness.  
Hermione said, "I couldn't leave him."  
Astoria sighed grabbing his other arm, "I can't blame you. Let's get him to my flat, it's right down the street. I'll owl Narcissa."  
It turns out that Draco was a sleepy, mumbling drunk. He drifted in and out of consciousness.  
They made it to Astoria's flat, and laid Draco on the couch on his side. Astoria said, "He's too drunk for a sobering potion to work, can you grab a damp cloth out of the loo."  
She acciod a bin for the upcoming aftermath of Draco's binge. Hermione returned, "Do you need anything else?"

Astoria shook her head. "I'll be right back." She wrote Narcissa telling her that Draco was there and he was in rough shape.  
Sending the owl off she returned to her living room. "So how's your morning going?"  
Hermione smiled, "It's good. What about you?"  
"Daphne's pregnant, so I was with her for that." Astoria was jealous, she knew Daphne was older, but she wanted her own baby.  
Hermione smiled, "I'm happy to hear that!" Remembering the look on Astoria's face when she recognized Draco made her curious enough to ask "What's the story with you and him?"  
Astoria sighed, "No story. I know he was a prat to you, but it was like whenever he'd go into the common room it was like he was a totally new person, he smiled, he laughed and he treated me better than my own sister did."  
"Are we talking about the same Draco Malfoy?" Hermione just blurted. The Draco that Astoria was describing was alien to her.  
"The very same." Astoria smiled.  
"Have you ever seen him drunk like this?"  
"He used to be a really funny drunk."  
"So I'm taking it you never told him you liked him?"  
"What makes you think I have feelings for him?"  
" I saw your face when you recognized him. I've had that face. You like him."  
There's a two year age difference-"  
"Oh, so what? From what he was saying to me, he could use friends. That includes lady friends down the road. Start off as his friend."  
A voice from the speaker box spoke, "Miss Greengrass? There's a Narcissa Malfoy here for you."  
Astoria sighed, "Okay, Scott let her in."  
"Should I go?"  
Astoria glared at Hermione, "Don't you dare! I like Narcissa but when it comes to him, she could give Bellatrix a run for her money if she feels he's in trouble."  
Draco started thrashing, and then the door was ringing. Hermione went to the door, she was greeted with a frantic looking Narcissa Malfoy.  
"Where is my son? What happened?"  
"He's okay. He's just really drunk-" Hermione stopped because they could hear him gagging.  
Narcissa walked in and saw her baby hugging a trashcan, while Astoria rubbed his back muttering words of encouragement.

Hermione decided to take the time to ask, "Mrs. Malfoy, has he seen any counselors since the war ended?"  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Because he keeps talking about it, and Astoria and I know how it feels-"  
Narcissa was immediately defensive. "We lived with Him for two years. Okay. You have no idea what took place day to he forced Draco to do. I don't even know half of it to be honest " She paused taking a second to calm down.  
"To answer your question, I've made appointments for him to go. But he doesn't go, and the last thing he needs is more people judging him."  
Hermione spoke again calmly, "I'm not judging him, I want to help him. I still have problems okay? Have you thought about moving out of the manor? All of those memories can't be good for him?"  
Narcissa looked at her. "We don't have anywhere to go. No one's willing to sale to us. Trust me, Miss Granger, I've tried. This morning when he left, I was thinking it'll be good for him to get out, instead he gets utterly drunk. I'm running out of options."  
Astoria looked at Narcissa, Draco finally stopped puking and was asleep."Both of you can stay here, I need help with the rent, it's a three bedroom apartment."  
Narcissa sighed, "I'm not sure, I don't want to impose."  
Astoria shook her head. "Rent's 400 gallons if we half it that would be great, all I'd ask is help with rent and every once in a while food. There aren't many people in this building, so that won't be an issue."  
"He has these episodes in his sleep, that's the issue."  
"What do you mean 'episodes'?" Hermione asked. "If they're nightmares-"  
Narcissa shakes her head. "They're worse than nightmares. He'll try to sleep, and he sees You Know Who as clear as I see you."  
"It sounds like he's got post traumatic stress. But I'm not a doctor.  
Astoria sighed, "Just give staying here a chance, he's sleeping pretty good to me, I doubt you should wake him Narcissa took a deep breath, she needed to think about what was best for Draco."Okay."

End Notes Feed the review monster!


	2. Chapter 2: When You Break

When you Break: Bears Den

Spoiled, selfish little child  
Went out to play out in the wild  
I found you shaking like a leaf  
Underneath your family tree  
You could never live out in the open  
Regretting every word you've spoken  
When you break, it's too late for you to fall apart  
And the blame that you claim is all your own fault  
—/

Flashback  
Date: 30 June 1997

Severus Snape had just killed Albus Dumbledore, his main concern was keeping Draco alive. Besides a few scratches and bruises, the boy was alive, he would not say Draco was okay. What had just happened had finally made the boy crack. His body began shaking violently, his breaths started coming in rapid gasps, Severus could tell Draco couldn't really hear him. "Draco. You have to try to calm down, it would not be a good idea for him to see you like this."

"Can't...brea..th." "You have to try. I'll be in there as long as he lets me. I highly doubt that he'll kill you, okay?" Severus reached into his robes to pull out a small vial. "Here, take this. It'll help." Draco looked at the turquoise potion and reached out to grab it but almost dropped it. "I'll do it, open your mouth." Severus said in a rather gentle voice and slowly coaxed Draco into taking it. Seconds after Draco took the potion he was immediately calmed that was also around the time they were summoned. Aside from shaking hands and shuddering breaths, Draco held his own with The Dark Lord; who was not please that Draco was not the one to kill Dumbledore. But Severus had intervened to say that due to the fact Dumbledore was in fact disarmed that should be a reason to spare Draco's life. He'd disarmed the most powerful wizard in the country. After agreeing with Severus and a flick of his wand caused the room to echo for what seemed hours with Draco's screams. The Dark Lord gotten bored when Draco had lost consciousness.

"Oh Severus? Before you go, congratulations. Even though the task was Draco's, you did what had to be done. We will talk more later send Lucius. He nodded, "My Lord."

Severus picked Draco up and left the drawing room. Narcissa Malfoy stood there with her husband in the hall way. "Lucius, you've been summoned." Ignoring the concerned looks on both parents face he made his way into Draco's room. He laid the limp boy on his bed and took off his shoes. Narcissa was not too far behind him and she looked horrified, "It's going to be okay." She caressed her son's head, holding back the tears.

A lot could be said about Narcissa Malfoy, but Severus was always impressed by how much she loved Draco. If saving her son meant having to die a horrible death in his place, there was no doubt that Narcissa would go without a fight.

"what happened?" Her voice spoke quietly. Severus sighed. "He used the Cruciatus Curse, but he'll be okay."

"I'm talking about-That's not what I mean."

She wanted to know if Draco became a murderer, Severus came to realize and turned to the door and casted silencing spells. "Draco couldn't do it. Dumbledore was trying to help him, I believe that Draco was going to take it."

"What do you mean?"

Severus sat on a corner of the bed, and sighed, "He lowered his wand and He was so shaken, I don't know what Dumbledore said to him but Draco was listening."

Narcissa let out a little gasp. "Very well.  
Are you going to tell the Dark Lord or does he know already?" She had to think quickly.

Severus shook his head. "You don't have to worry about plotting my death Narcissa, If the Dark Lord finds out, it will not be from me."

—/—-  
Back to the present

Later that day:

Narcissa has left to retrieve her and Draco's belongings, and Hermione promised she'd come back. So she spent some time fixing up the spare rooms, and making sure the bathrooms were well stocked.

Returning to the living room. Astoria had grabbed a red microfiber blanket to cover Draco with. She almost couldn't believe that Narcissa had agreed to move to in. Nor could she really believe that she offered for them to move in. It made her sad to think no one would sale to Narcissa. The older woman was a force to be reckoned with but she was approachable.

Astoria sat down in the opposite chair and studied Draco. She couldn't help but take notice every time he would jump in his sleep, or the small whimpers that escaped his lips every so often, but he never fully woke up. Looking at his face, he appeared calm, very skinny, and very sick looking.

"Why is he on your couch?"

Daphne Greengrass nearly shouted. Astoria did not expect Daphne to apparate into her living room. The second she saw Draco, she grabbed Astoria by the wrist and led her into another room. "Explain please. Were you drinking? Did he hurt you, I'll kill that son of a bitch."

Astoria tolled her eyes, "I've been with you. He has never done anything to me. I haven't gotten drunk in a while, and I'm letting him and his mother stay here-"

Daphne almost shouted, "Are you kidding me? Astoria, mother and father are going to lose their minds. You're letting them stay here?! Merlin! Is it because of that crush you had on him?"

Astoria scoffed "why is everyone bringing that up? Yes I liked Draco in school, but that has nothing to do with why I'm helping him. It's called being a decent human being! From what I remember, you were friends with Draco in school. The war was really starting to mess us all up. Apparently whatever happened in that house really fucked him up, he's not sleeping except right now, and that's probably because he's drunker than hell. I'm pretty sure living in that house isn't doing him any good.."

"It sounds like he should be in St. Mungo's. Not in your apartment, I mean what happens when he hurts you or his mother in his sleep because he isn't in control. Besides, I wasn't really friends with him, I hung out with Pansy Parkinson, she was always around him. what are you going to tell our parents?

"I will tell them that I am paying for my rent and I'm of age and that I choose who lives in my house." Astoria said firmly.

"I still think it's a bad idea."

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were celebrating with Marcus?"

"Ah, is now the time that you decide you're changing the subject? If you must know, Marcus had to go to London for a business trip. I came here because I wanted to ask if you would go to dinner with me later."

"You know I would but I can't leave right now."

"Tomorrow then?"

Daphne nodded. "I'm going to go, I'm just going to say this, be careful around him. Draco Malfoy has always been his own worst enemy. Sixth year is a prime example. He was scared, and desperate and 2 other people almost died. You can't save him."

She pulled Astoria into a hug and left.

Draco woke with a jolting start. He didn't recognize the house he was in. His head was exploding, what the hell happened, where was he?

"Ah you're awake!"

He jumped at a soft voice and looked into the direction of said voice. "Astoria?" He said weakly.

"Would you like some water?"

He nodded, "Please. How did I get here?"

"I'll be back and then I'll tell you." Astoria walked in to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water while also grabbing a hangover potion.

Handing him the glass and potion, she waited until he took the potion before she began, "Okay, this morning I walked into the leaky cauldron and I saw you and you were pretty bad off. Hermione Granger was with you and she was trying to take you home. I brought you here and owled your mother, and told her you were here, and both of you are moving in."

The little color in Draco's face drained, "What, why? Did I hurt anyone?" His voice croaked. Astoria shook her head, "No nothing like that, you said a lot of things in your sleep though. You kept talking to Snape."

She watched how fast he immediately tensed up at her words and instantly regretted saying anything. "Don't! Don't talk about him!" He snapped.

Astoria put her hands up in a surrendering position. "I was just telling you."

He shook his head breathing deeply, "I'm sorry, that was out of place. He's a... touchy subject." Astoria said quietly, "To be honest, Draco, it just sounds like you miss him." He closed his eyes, "He saved my life more than once, and I spent my time hating him and now he's gone, I don't know how to live with that one." He couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. Why did he just tell her that?

"You don't let his sacrifices go to waste, you live for him." She said very softly. Gray eyes met green, and he sighed as his eyes drifted closed. "There's something wrong with me. You should be avoiding me like the plague."

Astoria shook her head, "No there's not anything wrong with you and if you want to talk I'm here."

You can't save him. Daphne's words echoed in her head. She didn't want to save him, she was determined to help him save himself. If that meant throwing away all she knew, then so be it.


End file.
